


i wanna see your pom poms from the stands

by nctdreams



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheerleaders, Crushes, Drinking, Fluff, Football | Soccer, Happy Ending, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, M/M, Pining, cheerleader jungwoo, soccer team captain yukhei
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2019-05-10 05:46:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14731095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nctdreams/pseuds/nctdreams
Summary: and by cute soccer players jungwoo meant exclusively wong yukhei. the team captain that he had been crushing on since freshman year. yukhei was tall, handsome, funny and, well, a very straight fuckboy, but everyone had to have at least one flaw.(title from frank ocean's forrest gump)





	1. you run my mind boy

"I wanna see your pom poms from the stands  
Come on, come on  
My fingertips, and my lips, they burn  
From the cigarettes  
Forrest Gump you run my mind boy  
Running on my mind boy"

 

-

 

there were a lot of perks to being a cheerleader in jungwoo’s opinion. he made a lot of friends because of it, he got to wear cute outfits and, of course, he could see the cute soccer players almost everyday.

and by cute soccer players he meant exclusively wong yukhei. the team captain that he had been crushing on since freshman year. yukhei was tall, handsome, funny and, well, a very straight fuckboy but everyone had to have at least one flaw.

of all the dudes on the soccer team jungwoo had to get a crush on the straight one with the cute smile. ok maybe more than half of them were straight frat members, but he could’ve gone for doyoung or even yuta, but no. the moment he set his eyes on that weirdly too tall man he was done for.

it was a hot summer day and jungwoo had sweat gathering on his hairline the moment he stepped out on the soccer field for cheerleading practice. it should be illegal to make students go outside when the sun is acting all extra like that, they should be inside with the fans turned on and not moving unless it’s a life or death situation.

they are stretching before starting the actual training and jungwoo is having a hard time focusing on the right way to position his leg. he blames it on the heat but it has more to do with the fact that yukhei is running around the field in all his shirtless glory, sweat making his very (very!) toned body glisten.

“can you stop starring at that man’s abs, for the love of god.” ten says interrupting his daze and seulgi lets out a laugh behind them. they are both stretching perfectly while jungwoo is just there dumbly holding his feet.

“i’m not starring at anyone’s abs.” jungwoo lies, sticking his tongue out and seulgi laughs even louder. 

“if you starred at him for another second he would’ve came here himself to check if you wanted a picture.” she says and he hopes all that laughter of her will make her choke.

jungwoo rolls his eyes. he was definitely not starring at yukhei that hard. and it’s not like he would even notice, he never has before. “mind your own business, kang seulgi” he says “this is a gays conversation.”

“this is lesbian erasure!” she says faking an offended gasp. 

“let’s leave lover boy alone to stare at his boo, seulgi.” ten says trying to sound serious and seulgi laughs so loudly that they get an disapproving stare from the coach. jungwoo just rolls his eyes not even bothering to reply.

the rest of practice goes as normal as ever. they do their most recent routine a couple times to perfect it for the next game, taeyong, being the corny boyfriend he is, yells at ten and sends him a kiss when he scores a goal, making jungwoo both jealous and disgusted and yukhei keeps his shirt off for the whole duration of their practice making jungwoo almost falls from his position two times because of it.

——— 

after practice jungwoo goes to the café close to the soccer field with taeyong and ten like they always do. seulgi usually comes along go but she left jungwoo to third wheel alone to help irene with something.

the three of them at sitting at a table close to the windows, each with their orders. ten and taeyong are bickering about something that jungwoo stopped paying attention to halfway, opting instead to stare at the students moving around outside the café. he could appreciate the pretty day it was more now that he was inside a place with ac.

“oh, i almost forgot to tell you guys” taeyong says, catching jungwoo’s attention. “we are throwing a party this weekend.” 

“a pwarty?” ten has a whole mini donut in his mouth and taeyong looks like he wants to die when he reachs for his boyfriend’s mouth to wipe the sugar. jungwoo wants to leave immediately. 

“after the game against SNU. we already know we are going to win so we decided to throw a party.” taeyong explains and jungwoo rolls his eyes at how cocky he is.

ten gets very excited as the extrovert that loves parties person he is. jungwoo has no idea how the two of them even became friends. he is very shy and not a fan of being around people while ten is loud and a peoples pleaser. maybe it was the gay inside them that brought them together on the very first day of cheerleading trials when they were both still naive freshmen. jungwoo was awkwardly standing around waiting for his turn when ten came over and started talking to him like they were childhood friends. after that they became best friends quickly and over the past two years they got so close that they knew each other better than anyone else. that’s how jungwoo knows exactly what were the next words that were going to leave ten’s mouth.

“we should go, woo. it’s going to be fun!” he says excitedly like he doesn’t already know what the answer is going to be. “besides, i’m pretty sure yukhei will be there. right, baby?”

taeyong hums not paying attention to the conversation. of course yukhei would be there, he lived at the same frat as taeyong and was present at every campus party his body allowed him to be. to be honest that fact did make jungwoo think twice about not going go this stupid party but his plan to spend the friday night tucked in bed watching netflix was still in his heart.

he tells ten he will think about it while gathering his stuff to go to his photography class. he gets a very unnecessary cheer from the other boy as he leaves the café, maybe going to a party would be good for him.

——

the rest of the day passes by really fast, his photography class is pretty boring and soon he’s at his dorm checking tinder to help him fall asleep. he swipes left on almost every guy that shows up on his screen. 

he is not exactly a lonely person, as ten tells him all the time. he has tried dating but it never felt right with anyone. there was kun, his first boyfriend ever during high school that unfortunately had to leave for china when jungwoo was starting to really fall for him. then there was taeil, that was older and more experienced than jungwoo and decided that he needed someone more mature.

after taeil he had tried having one night stands but that always made him feel very weird the day after. according to ten and seulgi, jungwoo was a hopeless romantic but the truth is he is way past waiting for the perfect dude. he just wants someone to cuddle with. someone tell with a cute smile and that happens to be the captain of the soccer team.

jungwoo goes to sleep that night with an unsettling feeling in his heart.


	2. my fingertips, and my lips, they burn

they do win the game like taeyong said they would. 3-1 with doyoung scoring the last goal and ten nailing his last stunt by gracefully spinning in the air. the crowd goes crazy, most of them being there for their team and jungwoo feels that amazing adrenaline of winning pumping in his veins, making him shake his pom poms excitedly.

the party is also a success. the frat is so full that the drinks are almost ending, the music is loud and jungwoo is definitely not drunk enough to deal with this. he has his second cup of some weirdly sweet alcohol combination and he’s taking sips of it while watching the party happen. ten left him alone within 20 minutes after they arrived with the excuse that he needed to find taeyong to congratulate him on his victory (read: give him a blowjob in the bathroom and seulgi had left him to be with her friends from the swimming team (read: makeout with irene).

he should’ve known he would end up alone like he always did in parties, having two friends that were in somewhat stable relationships sucked. he should go and talk to doyoung but he seemed too into the conversation he was having with jung jaehyun. 

while he pondered what to do his flavored vodka ended so he decided to go and refil it. getting to the kitchen in a party full of drunk people was a very difficult job but he managed to get there unharmed, immediately hoping that he hadn’t because in the kitchen looking for something in the freezer was no one else than wong yukhei with a blunt between his fingers.

he looks good with black jeans and an oversized hoodie. his hair is messy probably from not being brushed after drying and jungwoo wants to run his finger through it and feel how soft it is.

the moment he steps in the room yukhei’s head turns and greets him with a lazy smile. “hey, man.” he says “i’m just looking for something to eat.”

jungwoo is about to freak out right there like a high school kid with a crush. he can’t believe the boy he has been pinning over for more than a year is talking to him right now like he’s one of his bros. he mutters a quiet hi and goes to get another drink with a deep blush on his face.

jungwoo’s apparent shyness doesn’t stop yukhei though because the other boys continues talking. “i can’t believe there’s no more oreos, dude. they ate all my shit.” he says sadly and jungwoo has to stop himself from asking why would he keep oreos on the fridge. he also wishes he had oreos with him so he could get that pout away from yukhei’s face.

“i’m... sorry to heart that?” jungwoo says and it sounds so awkward but at least yukhei laughs and it’s the best sound jungwoo has listened to all night.

“you’re funny, man.” yukhei says taking a hit of his blunt. “you’re jungwoo, right? from the cheerleading team?”

he almost chokes on his drink at that. this night is getting weirder and weirder. he just nods his head again too stunned to reply.

“cool! i’m yukhei. from the soccer team.” he says as if the whole campus doesn’t know who he is. “it’s nice to meet you.” 

“it’s nice to meet you too.” jungwoo replies taking a sip from his third flavored vodka of the night and trying to sound natural and unbothered.

“you wanna smoke with me?” the tallest boy asks gesturing to the blunt between his lips.

jungwoo ponders saying yes just to spend more time with his crush but if he’s already making a fool of himsef half sober imagine the mess he would make high. “no, thank you. i’m not really in the mood.” he says. 

yukhei shrugs. he looks pretty high already, his eyes hooded and posture slightly slouched. great, jungwoo thinks, a crush on a pothead and fuckboy. 

“i’m gonna finish this blunt outside. to like catch some air, you know? you should come too.” yukhei says casually and jungwoo must be drunk by now because he says okay and follows the other boy out of the full house. 

they sit on a bench by the pool and yukhei talks enough for the both of them. about soccer, about his major in sociology and mostly about dogs. when he asks about cheerleading jungwoo explains all the stunts and techniques, making yukhei stare at him with an amazed look on his face.

when yukhei is almost done with his blunt it stays quiet for a while. it’s a surprise that it’s nit an uncomfortable one like it usually is with people you don’t know very well. jungwoo stares at the pool reflecting the moonlight for a feel minutes, he’s only a little tipsy now and the smell of weed doesn’t bother him.

when he turns to look at yukhei the boy is already looking at him.

“can i ask you something?” yukhei looks almost nervous, with his eyes heavy starring at jungwoo and lips slightly parted.

jungwoo nods, cautious. yukhei seems serious about this question and it’s making him nervous. “is it different kissing a dude? like different from kissing a girl” the tallest boy asks.

that was not the question jungwoo was expecting at all. yukhei is avoiding his eyes now and he wonders where did this all came from. “i never kissed a girl so i wouldn’t know.” jungwoo replies.

yukhei is biting his lips so hard that it’s definitely going to bruise. “oh, yeah. okay.” he mumbles. “i was just wondering cause i never kissed a dude before you know. i was just wondering.”

“just wondering.” jungwoo repeats nodding and yukhei’s head turns to look at him. his eyes have something different in them now and it’s hard to point out exactly what it is. 

they just look at each other for what feels like ages. jungwoo can point out every flaw in his face. the faint trace of a stubble in his chin, the few acne scars, the way his eyes are a little red from smoking. his eyes fall on yukhei’s lips, they’re slightly parted and it looks like he’s pouting.

he doesn’t know that yukhei is observing him, eyes following every movement. he also doesn’t know who leans in first, only realizing it’s happening when he feels yukhei’s lips press against his. 

it’s a good kiss, only a bit sloppy. yukhei’s hand is on his neck controlling the kiss and he deepens it like he has wanted this for oh so long. his lips are soft and the moment he feels the other boy lick on his lips asking for entrance he lets out a small whimper. 

they kiss until they run out of air and the moment they separate things come crashing down. yukhei gets up so fast jungwoo barely has time to process what’s happening. 

“what’s wrong?” he asks, voice soft and lips red from all the kissing.

“fuck, fuck. fuck.” yukhei is pacing around, running his hands through his hair. he looks troubled like they have just killed someone. “listen, man, i don’t know whats gotten into me. let’s not tell anyone about this, okay?”

jungwoo doesn’t reply and he’s not sure he has anything to say. he can feel the tears coming out and he’s too heartbroken to try to keep them from falling. he should’ve stayed home, this would’ve never happened if he didn’t come to this stupid party. yukhei looks at him with a pained look im his face before walking inside the house again. 

he calls ten and tells him he’s going home for the night with the lie of being tired heavy on his tongue. he cries so much on the uber he takes that when he gets to his dorm all he manages to do is lay down on his bed feeling empty and like his heart is in a million pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :((( it's sad to write stuff like this lol but i hope u guys like this chapter!


	3. the start of nothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you haven't noticed i love frank ocean and every chapter title and song part in this fic is from his songs

yukhei fucked up. he knows he did.

from the moment he wakes up the next morning the only thing he can think about is how jungwoo’s lips felt against his and how heartbroken he looked after it. if karma was real it would definitely come for yukhei’s ass.

he stays in bed for as long as he can, trying to fall back asleep but failing at it. he wishes the bed would swallow him so he didn’t have to get up and deal with his shit. 

he doesn’t know what is wrong with him. he’s a straight dude, he likes girls. a lot. but a few weeks ago he been put on bench for training and decided to watch the cheerleading team practicing to entertain himself. he didn’t expect to be left in awe by the cute boy jumping in the air. he figured it was just admiration, nothing more. but when he saw jungwoo last night at the party it felt like it was something more. 

he had panicked after the kiss, it wasn’t supposed to be like that. he thought it would settle his curiosities and the weird feeling in his stomach every time he saw the other boy but it didn’t. he was in deep shit.

after rolling around the bed for what felt like hours he decides to finally get up and look for something to eat. walking down the stairs with his messy hair and sweatpants he bumps into jaehyun who just mumbles something that sounds like “fucking hangover” and yukhei wishes that a hangover was all he had from last night.

when he gets to the kitchen taeyong is there with ten sitting on his lap whispering something in his ear that clearly amuses the other boy. he clears his throat to get the attention of both boys.

“morning, xuxi.” taeyong says smiling at him “there’s leftover pizza in the fridge if you want some.”

“thanks, bro.” he replies, eyeing the both of them. “you do know there’s like a whole table available, right?”

ten sticks his tongue out at him and starts moving around on his boyfriend’s lap as if to make a point. “i’m comfy here.” he says and taeyong laughs fondly.

this whole scene is definitely not what yukhei wanted to see while he goes through his terrible “am i gay?” crisis. he feels something weird like butterflies in his stomach and his mind betrays him by imagining jungwoo and him in a situation like this, jungwoo in his lap whispering sweet nothing in his ear. it’s a very sweet and gay moment. 

“oh fuck.” yukhei mutters and the couple looks at him like he’s crazy.

when ten leaves the kitchen to go take a shower yukhei decides to ask taeyong for help. the older boy was always someone he could go for when he needed something and him being gay just made him the perfect person to settle yukhei’s little heart.

“hyung, can i ask you something?” he asks and taeyong hums, too occupied with a slice of pizza to properly reply. “how did you know you liked boys?”

the look taeyong gives him makes him feel like the other boy can see right through him. like he knows exactly why yukhei is asking this. “i think there’s always this one person that is your gay awakening you know? for me it was yuta on middle school. i thought it was just admiration at first but then i realized i talked about him the same way the other boys were talking about girls.”

fuck, yukhei thinks. jungwoo must be his gay awakening because taeyong just described exactly what he’s going through right now. the other boy senses his intern panic so he asks “why do you want to know about this, though?”

“i...uhm. i kinda kissed a boy last night.” yukhei says, avoiding taeyong’s eyes. the other has a death gaze on him in contrary. 

“and now you are having a whole gay crisis because of it?” taeyong asks “it was just one kiss, you are not a full homosexual because of it.” 

“hyuung, you don’t understand.” he lets out a deep breath. “the boy i kissed makes me feel fucking weird, you know? he makes me feel the same way i feel when i get a cute girl number.”

“you are literally talking about liking boys, how do i not understand this?” taeyong says “and see? you still like girls, dumbo. it’s okay to be bisexual, there’s a b in lgbt for a reason.”

bisexual. yukhei never thought about this but it made him as scared as liking boys. it’s not like he’s homophobic or anything like that, he loves his gay friends. hell, he doesn’t care who anyone else dates. but he has always been straight, a ladies men. he likes pussy and holding soft boobs in his hands, that his thing. he’s not ready to tell himself he may like dick and the way jungwoo moaned against his mouth yesterday.

“listen, dude. it’s okay to be confused. and this is not the end of the world.” taeyong says getting him out of his daze. “liking boys the same way you like girls is normal. and you don’t have to get everything figured out right now, you have to be patient with yourself.”

yukhei murmurs a little thank you to taeyong and they have a whole full hugging session. after that yukhei spends the whole day playing fifa with johnny in the living room. he tries his best to not think about his problems but his mind keeps going back to a soft pair of lips and big brown eyes.

 

\----- 

 

jungwoo wakes up at four pm the next day but wishes he didn’t. there’s four missed calls from ten on his phone and he has the tiniest hangover making his head spin. the events from last night are fresh in his head and the moment he thinks about it his eyes get teary.

he hates that he is so sensitive and that he has let yet another boy break his heart like this. he cries for another 10 minutes and downs an advil before falling asleep again.

the rest of his weekend is a mix of sad crying, resisting to call ten and tell him about anything, watching a random kdrama and hate crying. he orders take out and eats half of a pizza by himself.

when monday comes he expects to feel renewed and over it. except he doesn’t and he isn’t.

“wow, you look like shit.” ten says the moment he sees jungwoo entering the field “are you still hangover or something?”

“oh, thank you. you are such a sweetheart, ten.” he replies sarcastically.

jungwoo thanks god for the soccer team not having practice on mondays and proceeds to have a very regular days. ten asks him multiple times what’s wrong but he just brushes him off with excuses of not having slept so well.

after practice he goes to his sociology class, the topic being something about mens relation with power. it’s boring and he’s only half paying attention to it when he gets a text.

**unknown number** : hey

he’s confused on why a random person has his number and why they are texting him. deciding that it was probably just a mistake he shoves his phone back in his backpack and decides to pay attention to class for once.

it’s only when he’s back at the dorm that night that he gets another text. he’s sitting on his bed alternating between watching drag race and writing a very confusing essay on classicism in art when his phone buzzes.

**unknown number** : come on please dont ignore me :(

he decides to enlighten himself and reply to the number. maybe he can get a funny screenshot of this to post on twitter and finally get the fame he deserves. 

**jungwoo** : who is this

**unknown number** : it’s yukhei. from the party.

jungwoo drops his phone in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope everyone is enjoying this taeten fic with side luwoo lmao
> 
> anyway let me know what u guys are thinking!!


	4. if you could see my thoughts you would see our faces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i havent proofread this yet!

jungwoo ignores it. he pretends like he never got that text or the following ten he receives after and it’s working out just fine, he doesn’t even think about it all the time. not at all.

it must be karma coming for him for that one time in 5th grade he told a girl her new haircut looked ugly. that must be it, there’s no other explanation for why god, or whatever divine force there is out there, would make him suffer like this. getting the change to finally kiss the boy he had been pining over for long only for him to break his heart into a million pieces. and then come back to haunt jungwoo’s peaceful and uneventful life.

what does yukhei even want, anyway. to apologize or explain himself are unlikely reasons, he probably just wants to make sure that jungwoo kept his mouth shut and didn’t tell anyone about their little meeting. and that jungwoo did. he hadn’t tell a soul about what happened, not even his best friends that knew everything about his life. 

 

he manages to ignore his problems until practice on wednesday morning comes and said problem is starring at him right in the face. literally.

from the moment he steps on the field yukhei’s eyes are glued to him and every time he accidentally looks at him the soccer player raises his eyebrows like he’s waiting for jungwoo to do something, like reply to his texts.

“am i dreaming or has wong yukhei been starring at you since practice started?” ten asks, giving jungwoo a weird look.

jungwoo lets out a forced laugh, that ten probably catches on. “you are crazy. why would he be starring at me? he doesn’t even know my name.” 

“hmm, then why did he ask taeyong for your number?” ten inquires putting his hands on his waist.

“i..hmmm. i,” jungwoo’s voice comes out high pitched he’s not sure what he’s going to say. there’s no way out of ten’s trap. “did he now? hahah that’s crazyy.”

if looks could kill the one ten gives him would have him in the floor in no minute. “don’t try to fool me, kim jungwoo.” he says pointing a finger at jungwoo’s chest. “what did he want with you?”

jungwoo is weak and ends up telling everything to his best friend that has three different reactions. the first one is choking on air, the second yelling at jungwoo for betraying him and not telling everything about it the day it happened. and then hugging jungwoo telling him everything will be alright and that straight boys ain’t shit. 

after practice he denies ten’s invite to skip class and go to his dorm to eat ice cream while talking shit and tells the other boy that he really is okay.

he decides that since he told someone about the whole thing he should at least let the other involved part know so after a lot of rewriting and deleting he sends yukhei a text.

jungwoo:  
i told ten about it  
if that’s what u want to know  
but he wont tell anyone 

yukhei:  
its cool  
i didnt want to talk about this  
i want to talk to u about what happened  
to apologize...  
can we meet? pls

jungwoo:   
why?  
so u can make a fool out of me again?  
no thanks

yukhei:  
nah that aint it   
i wanna see u   
come on jungwoo

jungwoo:  
ugh fine

yukhei:   
can i come to ur dorm tonite?

jungwoo:   
... sure i get home at 6pm

yukhei:   
nice  
see u l8r

jungwoo must really have lost his mind to have accepted something like this. he stresses about it for the whole duration of his history of art class and makes a fool of himself when the teacher asks him a question that he can’t answer because he was too busy thinking about yukhei.

when he gets home he takes a quick shower and eats a whole package of cookies while waiting for the other boy to arrive. he thought that when he said he would be home at 6pm it meant that yukhei should come around that but it’s almost eight when he knocks at the dorm room.

jungwoo opens the door to a very flushed yukhei, with pink cheeks and hair messy. he’s wearing baggy jeans and a t-shirt from some skate brand and it only makes jungwoo regret his life decisions even more.

“hey, man. sorry for taking so long i had to help mark with something.” yukhei explains, sounding a little out of breath. 

“it’s okay.” jungwoo says moving from the door to sit on his bed. “you can sit on the bed, or on the floor. whatever you want.”

he decided to seat on the bed next to jungwoo and the boy decides giving him that option. he smells really nice, that usual boy scent with some perfume jungwoo doesn’t recognize. 

“listen, dude.” yukhei says “i’m really sorry for that day...”

jungwoo really doesn’t want to hear some half assed apology about how he was drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. “i get it, okay? you didn’t mean to kiss me and you are straight. it’s fine, i won’t tell anyone else. i just had to tell ten because he’s my best friend and knows when something is-“ he starts saying, getting up from the bed but yukhei grabs him by the wrist.

“can you at least listen to what i have to say?” yukhei’s eyes have some kind of sadness in it and jungwoo doesn’t want to feel bad for the other boy but he does, nodding for him to continue. “i’m not here to tell you it was a mistake, at least not the kiss. the way i reacted was the mistake. i just, i dunno, i freaked out.”

jungwoo notices that yukhei talks with his whole body, gesturing with his hands a lot and messing around with a couple of world because korean is not his first language. 

“the things is i never gave two thoughts about what i like, i have always been straight. but when i look at you...” yukhei takes a deep breath. “fuck. when i look at you i start having those second thoughts and it’s driving me crazy.” 

it stays silent after that, jungwoo taking in all the things that were said and yukhei thinking that he probably fucked up. he’s ready to get up and leave when jungwoo joins their hands. “do you...do you have a crush on me?” he asks.

“i just said all this sappy shit and you ask me if i have a crush on you?” yukhei scoffs “isn’t it obvious?”

jungwoo laughs. “you’re so stupid. for how long?”

“i dunno, maybe since the beginning of the semester.” yukhei mumbles and jungwoo is certain he’s going to pass out right there. his two year crush has had a crush on him for more than a year now.

“hey, look at me.” jungwoo was so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice he has been starring at his feet this whole time so he looks up to see that yukhei is looking directly at him. “you know what i think about a lot?”

his hands are now around jungwoo’s waist and the younger boy is surprised at how quickly he’s going from panic gay to this. “what do u think about?” jungwoo asks deciding to enlighten the other boy.

“about kissing you.” he says and in a matter of seconds his lips are soft against jungwoo’s. it feels a thousand times better than last time without all the alcohol and weed in their head and yukhei wastes no time in deepening it, his hands moving everywhere, bringing jungwoo closer so he can straddle him.

they kiss for what feels like hours both panting heavily when they separate and laugh at how sudden all of this was. 

yukhei ends up staying the night. they order pizza and then cuddle to sleep. jungwoo feels like he’s in a dream, drifting off to sleep with yukhei’s body pressed against his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have a feeling this chapter was a bit rushed.. idk as always let me know what u guys think!  
> thank u for reading


	5. fireworks, i feel like glitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's explict themes in this chapter just so u know ehhe

the next morning jungwoo wakes up with a ray of light hitting his face and immediately regrets not buying those blackout curtains that were on sale. yukhei is still sleeping peacefully behind him, snoring quietly and with one arm wrapped around jungwoo like he’s a pillow.

it’s a hard job to get yukhei to release his grip on jungwoo’s waist but he manages without getting the boy to whine too much. when he turns around he feels bad that he has to wake yukhei up because he’s sleeping so cutely and looks so innocent when he’s quiet that jungwoo just wants to cuddle him forever. but they both have class soon so he starts rubbing circles on yukhei’s exposed waist (he likes to sleep shirtless he had said) and whispers “time to wake up, sleepyhead.”

it takes a little more than that but soon yukhei is stretching his really big limbs and mumbles something that sounds like good morning. they stay in bed for a few more of the minutes they have to spare and jungwoo feels great with his head on yukhei’s warm chest.

“listen, i know we literally just started all this. whatever it is.” yukhei starts saying “but can we take things slow? like keep it to ourselves for a while, you know. i’m still getting used to all this new stuff i don’t wanna get like overwhelmed because people are all up my business.” 

jungwoo tries to not overthink it, he just tells the other boy it’s okay they can take it as slow as he wants but deep down there’s a little monster making him worry over it, think that yukhei is ashamed of being seen with another guy and that he just wants to fool around with jungwoo and then leave. but he pushes these thoughts deep down and enjoys the way yukhei smiles at him before leaning in to kiss his lips sweetly. 

—

jungwoo tells ten, who tells taeyong and they both freak out for a good hour and promise to end yukhei’s life if he ever breaks jungwoo’s poor little heart (again). 

their little arrangement works out great. they text almost all day, jungwoo being flirty and yukhei saying the most nonsense things. they also hang out a lot on jungwoo’s dorm since he doesn’t have a roomate and that gives them more privacy.

not that they need that much privacy because things have been pretty pg lately. the most they have done so far is some heavy petting with clothes on and that is making jungwoo a little antsy to say the least.

that’s why his mind is set on changing that today.

they’re laying down on the tiny bed with a laptop on their lap playing some marvel movie yukhei wanted to watch but jungwoo didn’t care enough about. he has been playing with yukhei’s hair for quite a while now but the other boy still seems more interested by spiderman and whatever neighborhood he’s saving.

now, jungwoo could take this as his cue to just let the boy watch his damn movie in peace and enjoy the calmness of cuddling but his mom didn’t raise a quitter so he places a delicate and “innocent” kiss to yukhei’s neck, and then another, until he’s giving him a pretty red hickey next to his jawline making yukhei let out a choked groan. “what… are you doing?” he asks, finally turning his head to look at jungwoo.

“kissing you, duh” jungwoo says playfully “is it not allowed? are you worried spiderman will see?”

yukhei rolls his eyes but let’s out a laugh anyway. “shut up. you are so lame.” he says closing the computer and putting it aside to finally (fucking finally) kiss jungwoo.

“but you like me.” jungwoo says between kisses and yukhei can’t disagree to that, kissing jungwoo even harder.

 

kissing yukhei is an experience. an amazing one that jungwoo would with no question take part on every day if they both didn’t have busy college schedules. he kisses like he’s going to die if he doesn’t, all intense and breathtaking. and that paired with the softest pair of lips junwoo has ever seen just makes it overwhelming. 

it gets heated pretty fast. jungwoo wastes no time in getting himself into yukhei’s lap and leaving kisses on his neck which makes the other boy whine softly and grip his hair. yukhei seems to have a very sensitive neck because he starts growing hard against jungwoo’s thigh in no time. “fuck. you are so hot and so good at this.” he mumbles connecting their mouths together again.

jungwoo can’t help but laugh softly against the kiss because all fuckboy reputation aside yukhei is literally the cutest boy he has ever met. “are you getting this excited over only a few kisses, baby?” he asks and yukhei nods shyly. jungwoo is usually not the most dominating person, liking best when his partners took control but there’s something about yukhei being all shy and docile that makes him feel on fire. 

the kiss now is messy, a clear indication that things will go further and when jungwoo moves to kiss bellow a sensitive spot below yukhei’s ear the boy lets out a deep groan, moving his hands to jungwoo’s hips making him feel his now fully hard erection pressed against the inside of his thigh. 

“tell me what you want, xuxi.” jungwoo says, his hands on the hems of yukhei’s shirt signalling him to remove it and the boy does very quickly, taking jungwoo’s off as well. 

when the other just gives a weak whine as a reply jungwoo takes the matter in his own hands and starts moving down, leaving wet kisses along yukhei’s torso. “do you want me to suck you off huh?” he asks, leaving a special kiss right on his hipbone.

he looks up and the boy is watching him with wide eyes and mouth parted, he looks almost desperate and jungwoo can’t help but grind down the bed softly to get some friction. “y-yes.” yukhei whispers and it all it takes for jungwoo to push his sweatpants and boxers down in one go.

yukhei shivers when the cold air hits his dick and jungwoo’s mouth waters when he sees how red the head is, shiny with the pre-come that’s already dripping of his tip. his dick is not the biggest he has have ever seen but the length of it compensates for the thickness and jungwoo can’t help but lean in to leave a small kiss to the tip.

the moan yukhei lets out when jungwoo’s tongue makes contact with his hardness for the first time is absolutely breathtaking. he moans even louder when jungwoo goes as far on his dick as he can, using his hands to cover the part his mouth can’t reach.

yukhei is definitely feeling overwhelmed with the way jungwoo’s tongue is twirling around his length and letting his teeth just barely graze on it. if he knew dudes gave blowjobs like this he would’ve done that earlier. he can’t even form coerrent words, just keeps moanings variations of yes baby, feels so good and jungwoo’s names.

when jungwoo asks if he’s close he just nods dumbly and almost comes right there when jungwoo says he wants him to come on his mouth. what does make him come though is when the other boy moves one finger to his hole and presses softly on it. he comes with a shout and jungwoo doesn’t let go until he has let it all out, swallowing it and then putting his tongue out as if to let yukhei know he swallowed it all. he almost gets hard again.

“do you want me to…” yukhei says after he has come down from his high and gestures vaguely at jungwoo’s dick, making the other boy laugh.

“nah, it’s okay. i already came.” he says and yukhei lets out a strangled noise that sounds like a what.

“you came… in your pants? just from sucking my dick?” yukhei lets out a breath. “you’re fucking unreal.”

jungwoo cleans them both with the paper wipes he had by his bed and gets on the bed again to cuddle. “can’t help if you look so hot when you come.” he says smiling at yukhei and that earns him a deep kiss.

yukhei convinces him to finish watching spiderman afterwards and if anyone asks jungwoo did not fall asleep halfway through it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo that happened lmao i changed the fics rating just in case...  
> idk if this will be the only smut on the fic or not because i suck at writing it
> 
> anyway let me know what you guys think about this chapter (and if anyone wants to fight me on yukhei being a sub dont even try!)


	6. this is love, i know it's true

jungwoo should’ve known better. he knows himself very well and knows he can be a little insecure sometimes and the whole thing just adds fuel to his insecurities. 

they are at another frat party that jungwoo didn’t want to go at all but yukhei said he should so here he was, another cup of flavored vodka in his hand and some rap song playing too loudly for his taste. yukhei was talking to some of his frat brothers and would occasionally look at jungwoo and smile, but nothing more than that. 

they had seen each other yesterday at jungwoo’s dorm, as always. they watched a movie and made out until yukhei had to leave and things were as normal as ever. except they weren’t.

the whole secret relationship was getting to jungwoo’s nerves, hell, he didn’t even know if a relationship existed at all, he was always too afraid to ask what they were and yukhei never bothered saying anything. the way the taller boy acted like they barely knew each other when they were in public just made everything worse and this situation was eating jungwoo alive.

yesterday at practice ten and jungwoo were talking to yuta and jaehyun and when yukhei came into the conversation he acted like jungwoo was not even there and he just wanted to scream and ask him what the fuck was going on. was he embarrassed of him? did he despise the fact he was involved with a gay men? his mind ran wildly at all the possible reasons to why yukhei was acting this way.

jungwoo downs another cup of vodka. yukhei is talking to a girl now, a pretty and with very big boobs girl. they seem to be on a nice conversation because she's running her hand up and down yukhei’s arm and he’s laughing at what she’s saying. 

jungwoo is not jealous. he’s so not jealous that he goes to doyoung, who’s sitting on the couch and sipping on something that looks like orange juice. they have a nice conversation about how straight people have weird parties and how drake songs sound the same.

the next time he looks at yukhei the girl is gone and he’s staring at jungwoo, motioning at his phone when their eyes meet.

yukhei:  
what u doing over there with doyoung lol

jungwoo:  
uuh.. we are talking

yukhei:  
sure  
i wanna talk to u   
meet me upstairs in 5

jungwoo:   
ugh okay

he wants to say no, that we won’t go upstairs just to have a conversation when they could very much do that at the party. no one would immediately think the so well known captain team is hooking up with men just because they were talking to each other. it makes jungwoo angry that he’s only now seem to be realizing what this all is.

he gives doyoung some excuse about going to the bathroom really quick and makes way to yukhei’s bed, finding said boy laying on his bed when he opens the door.

 

“what’s up?” yukhei asks sitting up on the bed and patting the spot next to him for jungwoo to sit.

“just enjoying the party.” jungwoo bitterly, sitting down on the bed but making sure to put some distance between then. yukhei is having none of that though and slides closer to him. “what is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“hmm, nothing actually. just wanted a excuse to get you up here so i could do this.” he says leaning in for a kiss and the look on his face when jungwoo turns his head away. “what the fuck?”

“listen, yukhei. you ignored me all night and now you get me to come up here just so we can makeout and they go back to the party like nothing happened.” jungwoo’s voice is hurt and he’s trying very hard not to start crying. “you’re hurting me. this whole thing is.”

“i’m... sorry. i would kiss you in front of everyone if i could.” yukhei says and jungwoo can’t help but scoff.

“that’s the thing, you can kiss me in front of anyone, but you won’t. because you don’t want to.” he’s sure he looks like he’s about to cry now.

“it’s not like tha-“ yukhei starts trying to explain himself but jungwoo doesn’t let him finish.

“it is, though. you don’t mind when a random girl is all over you but pretend i don’t even exist in front of your friends.” he lets out a deep breath. “i can’t keep being your hidden secret, yukhei.”

the look yukhei is giving him is one of pure desperation, like his whole world is shaking and he wants to say and do a million things, but all he says is “come on, baby. don’t be like that.”

“i don’t even know what this even is...am i your boyfriend? just a plaything?” jungwoo continues “i don’t even know if you are hooking up with other people.” 

the moment he says that yukhei face changes giving the truth away. jungwoo really should’ve known better, this whole thing was meant to break his heart. ten always says he’s too naive and trusting and this is what he gets. he tells yukhei to not call him anymore and ignores the pleas and excuses the boy gives him, leaving before the tears can start falling. 

yukhei never cried over a girl before but he cries so much about jungwoo that night that he wakes up with puffy eyes.

\-------

“i can’t believe that son a bitch. i’m going to fucking end him.” ten is really, really angry about the whole situation. he’s pacing from side to side on jungwoo’s dorm and had called yukhei every bad name that exists. jungwoo is thankful. “i can’t believe he was fucking other people when you two were together.”

“i mean we weren’t exactly toge-” jungwoo starts saying.

“shut up, jungwoo. you were blind with love.” ten interrupts and finally stops pacing. he holds jungwoo’s face in his hands and places it on his chest as if he’s his mother “my poor innocent baby fell on that mean straight boy’s trap. why does go make the gays go through this.”

jungwoo rolls his eyes. “i’m not an innocent baby. and yukhei is bissexual not straight.” he says.

“lie. and okay that part is true but he’s still evil and broke your heart so i’ll have to chop of his dick.” ten pets his hair. he really doesn’t know what would do without ten. all dramatic behavior aside he’s a really good friend and always has jungwoo’s back.

“thank you, tennie.” jungwoo gets up to hug the boy tightly, their height difference evident. “we should go get pancakes before you are sent to jail for chopping somebody’s dick off.”

pancakes are a good distraction and jungwoo doesn’t think that much about what happened. ten also makes sure to distract him the best he can but sometimes jungwoo’s mind automatically thinks about yukhei and he can’t help but feel sad out of nowhere.

there were a lot of things that could’ve gone right in their relationship. they got along well and liked the same things. jungwoo’s shy and calm personality complimented yukhei’s loud and outgoing one. their dates were always a lot of fun even if all they did was stay at a dorm room and jungwoo was ready to fall in love. but it had taken him a lot of time to finally accept who he was and feel comfortable letting the world know. he deserved to have someone that assured him that it was okay and was ready to be confident about it with him. yukhei wasn’t that person yet.

\-----

yukhei fucked up. again. he goes to sleep that night and thinks about all the things jungwoo said until it’s four am and he hasn’t gotten the tiniest bit of sleep yet. 

he really likes jungwoo, like in that sweet and intense infatuation way, but he’s also extremely scared of what all of this means to him. he has always been afraid of changes, preferring to stick to things he knew and worked, and this whole thing seemed risky to him, it was too new. he didn’t feel ready to let the how world know what happened inside his heart and how much he wanted to kiss jungwoo every moment of the day. he wanted to hold his hand and take him everywhere and just do the most regular couple things but he was scared of the starres. the whispers. of the newness of it.  
he wanted to have stopped jungwoo before he left. wanted to have told him everything he felt and how he just needed more time but that was too selfish. jungwoo deserved someone that would proudly show him off and treat him like the amazing guy he was. yukhei was too lucky to even have gotten to spend these moments with him. jungwoo was kind, gentle, nice, the most beautiful person he had ever seen and yukhei was okay but he still had a lot to improve and jungwoo deserves someone better than that.

 

\----   
when the day of practice with the cheerleader team arrives the last thing yukhei wants is to attend it. he tries to fake some illness but jaehyun sees right through him and drags his ass to the soccer field.

the moment jungwoo walks into the field his whole world comes crashing. it’s a real experience seeing the boy you cried over while stalking his instagram account for the first time after 4 whole days. he had gotten pancakes with ten a few days ago and yukhei loved pancakes. that shit hurt.

he tries to focus on training, running around the field and analyzing techniques but his eyes keep betraying him and going to jungwoo flawlessly spinning on air. he’s screwed.

that night when he’s eating ice cream, watching the local news and feeling sorry for himself on the frat’s couch taeyong makes his way and tells him they need to talk.

the thing about taeyong is that he needs to help others, it’s in his blood. it’s like if he sees someone who looks in distress he has the duty to go and help them. even if they broke their boyfriend’s best friend's heart.

“look, yukhei. i know i promised jungwoo i would kill you if you hurted him but you are my brother and i can’t stand to see you like this.” taeyong says taking the ice cream from yukhei and making him whine. 

“i’m sad, hyung. my heart hurts.” yukhei says and pouts. like literally pouts and taeyong feels his heart melt a little.

“i know. this whole situation is really shit but you gotta get over it.” the older man replies. “jungwoo went through a lot to come out and being in a secret relationship was too much for him.”

“i get that. i really do. but i like him so much.” it’s really to cry in front of one of his frat brothers but yukhei is really close to. “and i… miss him.”

“then why aren’t you with him? why don’t you give him what he deserves?” taeyong asks

yukhei takes a deep breath. this conversation is harder than he thought. “i’m scared, hyung. this whole thing is too new for me and i don’t know what to do.” 

“i’m going to be real with you right now.” taeyong starts saying. “i was scared too when i realized i was gay, everyone one is. jungwoo certainly was. and it’s okay to be, it’s normal but you can’t live your life being scared of it when there’s so much happiness waiting for you if you just accept who you are.”

“no one cares if you like and date a boy, okay? well, maybe some people do but they don’t matter. your friends will support you, your frat brothers and team will support you just like they supported doyoung and i. we all got your back.” taeyong continues. “i’m not saying you need to be the most confident bissexual on campus right now. all i’m saying is that there’s no reason for you to be alone and run away from things that will make you happy. you are not alone.”

when taeyong finishes talking yukhei embraces him in a really tight hug and cries quietly in his shoulder, too overwhelmed to say anything but the other boy knows how thankful he is and how much every word he said meant to him.

that night in his room he thinks about everything that happens and decides to call his mom. he tells her everything and she listens carefully before telling him that doesn’t matter what or who he likes she’ll always be there and love him. they both cry on the phone and to lighten the mood his mom asks him what jungwoo is like. after he tells her she says he must really be in love with him.

the call with his mom and the talk with taeyong makes him realize that life’s to short and he has no reason to be this scared of what’s going to happen. he wants to be with jungwoo and wants the whole world to know about it.

 

\-------

one week after the day finally comes. they have a game and yukhei is sure it’ll be the most important one he has had so far.

he’s so nervous that he ties and unties his shoe laces about ten times and drink to much water. no one besides taeyong knows what about to happen and that just makes everything so much more nerve wracking.

with sweaty palms he makes his way to the field, the whole crowd is going crazy with the team’s appearance but he only has eyes for one boy with his cheerleading outfit and pom poms.

someone is saying something about the game starting soon and then the school’s song starts playing but he couldn’t care less. his legs start walking towards jungwoo and the look on the other boy’s face is one of completely confusion. he is mouthing something that looks like a “are you fucking crazy” and well, he is. he’s fucking crazy for jungwoo and he’s about to let a whole crowd of people know about it.

it’s like the whole world goes silent when he gets close enough to touch and he’s starts saying how sorry he is and that he wants to make things right and how much he likes and missed him. jungwoo shuts him up with a kiss and the butterflies in his chest finally calm down. 

yukhei grabs jungwoo by the waist and lifts him in the air like he weighs nothing and the whole crowds is cheering for them. it’s like a million fireworks are going off and jungwoo is on a high that’ll never come down. 

he feels in love and invincible. finally. 

 

"Forrest green  
Forrest blues  
I remember you  
This is love, I know it's true  
I won't forget you (you)  
(Oh you you) it's for you Forrest, you you  
(Oh you you) it's you you Forrest"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter oh my god :(( sorry if it feels rushed i have exams coming up and i wanted to finish it before they do!
> 
> but thank u to everyone who read this and left comments and kudos it meant a lot to me <3333 i hope u enjoyed the fic and i'll try to work on something new soon!


	7. epilogue; bliss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a late epilogue for everyone who asked for it :~) it's just a short domestic thing but i hope you guys like it!!   
> again, thank u so much for reading the fic <3333

jungwoo wakes up with the sun hitting his face and curses himself mentally for forgetting to close the curtains last night. the clock on the bedside table says it’s already 10am but the bed is so warm and he feels so comfortable with yukhei’s arms around his waist that he has no plans on getting up. it’s a saturday anyway, he deserves this.

he tries to turn as gently as he can to face his boyfriend but the other boy still lets out a groan and tightens his hold on jungwoo’s waist making the older boy laugh softly. “wake up, xuxi.” jungwoo says playfully blowing a raspberry on yukhei’s cheek, making his face scrunch up cutely.

they have been living together for three months now and dating for two years but jungwoo still can’t get over how adorable yukhei looks in the mornings, with his cheeks slightly pink and hair sticking out everywhere. it makes jungwoo feel warm inside, the butterflies in his stomach still strong after being together for so long.

“don’t wanna wake up.” yukhei whines like an oversized baby and jungwoo can’t help but coo at him.

“but it’s already 1pm, babe. we have the dog fair to go to in two hours.” jungwoo says and the world dogs seems to awaken his boyfriend, who’s slowly opening his eyes now.

yukhei murmurs a raspy good morning, running his hand through his hair as if that would fix the mess it is but it only serves to worsen it. “can’t wait to adopt our puppy today.” he says, sitting up on the bed and smiling. his eyes are still puffy and he’s so warm from being underneath a blanket that jungwoo can’t help but cling to him like a koala.

they stay like that for what feels like a couple of minutes until yukhei decides to press kisses all over jungwoo’s face, making him giggle. he kisses his cheeks, then his forehead and finally their lips meet and jungwoo lets out a content sigh. they exchange kisses everyday, when they leave the house and when they come back at night, in the middle of the day just because they want to, when they want something more than kissing. they kiss a lot, but the lazy morning ones are definitely jungwoo’s favorite.

 

“what are we going to name the puppy?” jungwoo asks after pressing one last peck to yukhei’s lip, his head moving to lay on his chest. “sushi?”

yukhei rolls his eyes but laughs anyway. “how am i gonna know if you’re calling me or the dog?” 

“we can call him yukhei junior then, if that’s less confusing for you.” jungwoo says trying to sound serious but bursting out laughing at the look on yukhei’s face. 

they are both sure this is what love feels like, lazy kisses while still warm in bed and with the sun on their faces and just making stupid jokes. it feels like the way jungwoo’s laugh makes yukhei feel like he’s on cloud nine and the way jungwoo’s eyes shine when he looks at his boyfriend smiling at him

**Author's Note:**

> hii  
> this is my first nct fic here so please excuse any mistakes and tell me what you think about it!! ill update it very soon <3


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